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15 Questions to Help You Create Balance and Live the Life You Want.

"I don't know what would have happened to me if lockdown had not happened"

I have heard this from quite a few people. Whilst the COVID19 lockdowns were a significant challenge, there are a number of people who feel that the first lockdown was what actually saved them from a life of overwhelm and impending burnout.

It forced a hard stop, it created space to think about what they wanted from life. It gave them the opportunity to reflect, review and make changes in their life.

Did COVID19 prevent an impending burnout for you?

For many people, this was the change that they needed to make.

For some, it was a change they had wanted to make and had not been able to make happen. For others, it was a change that they did not know, would make the difference they needed.

Do you fit into one of these categories?

How are things for you now?

We started with a journey through the 'roadmap out of lockdown' and it was important for all of us to reflect and review how life had been during the period of lockdowns and restrictions so that we could plan ahead and think about what we wanted to create in the world that would become our 'new normal'.

Whenever there is a period of disruption or a life-changing event, we have an opportunity to create a new life of balance, to make decisions that will help us to take control of the controllable, and leave behind what was not working for us.

As time goes on it can be easy to slip back into old habits and behaviours, to return to ways that are familiar to us, even when they are no longer useful or serve us.

Overwhelm and burnout are often accelerated when we are busy with the things that are out of alignment with what we truly want in life.

Whilst this blog, and these questions, were originally published in March 2021, the questions remain relevant and are important to ask on a regular basis.

It is important to have a regular check-in. It can be so easy to just 'fall' into a way of living rather than make conscious decisions about how we want life to be.

We need to choose to live 'in effect' rather than 'at cause'. To make life happen 'for us', not to sit back and let life happen 'to us'.

Living at CAUSE can bring choices, and ultimately empowerment.

It means taking responsibility for your actions, decisions and choices that you make; the good the bad and the ugly! Living at cause is taking ownership, stepping forward, creating and influencing your own outcomes.

Living in EFFECT is a failure to take responsibility and placing the blame on someone or something else. It brings a sense of powerlessness and the feeling that you are a victim of circumstance. Living in effect is failing to take ownership of decisions and outcomes.

Being at CAUSE is finding the meaning within the experience.

Ask yourself; How did I contribute to this? How did I choose to create this?

When the CAUSE is greater than the EFFECT - EMPOWERMENT is the result.

Are you trying to change the effect without looking at the cause?

Are you taking ownership of the good things that happen but not the negative?

YOU are at the core of everything that happens to you.


These 15 questions may help provide some structure and guidance to your reflection and review.

  • Consider each question through the lens of your mental, physical and emotional health and wellbeing.

  • 'Brain dump' your answers onto paper.

  • Take time to reflect and review.

  • Consider how you can use this information to plan for the future.

What was life like before?

  • What did you enjoy that you want more of in the future?

  • What wasn't working that you want to leave behind?

  • What did you feel was missing that you wanted in life?

  • What was out of balance?

  • What were the obstacles/excuses holding you back?

What changed?

  • What did you miss straight away?

  • What did you miss longer-term?

  • What 'needs' were you unable to meet?

  • What values became out of alignment?

  • What opportunities were presented to you, which did you take, and which did you pass up on?

What next?

  • What will you re-introduce?

  • What will you leave behind?

  • What good habits and behaviours have you created that you will keep?

  • Knowing what you know now, what does 'balance' look like for you?

  • How will you re-align life to your values?

What will you challenge yourself to change to create the future you want?


Phoenix Coaching has a range of resources that can support you to work through this. Check them out here:

If you would like a conversation to help you to work through this, book in a 'clarity call' and we can have a chat.

*First published March 2021

*Revised and republished Sept 2022

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