Updated: Nov 3, 2022
It is not uncommon for us to see the quotes about ‘Drains and Radiators’ reminding us to choose who we surround ourselves with.
I have discovered that there are two kinds of people:
'radiators' and 'drains'
Radiators cheer you up, they exude warmth and comfort and positivity and smiles and encouragement.
Drains bring you down, they are dark and cold, miserable, moany and suck your life and energy.
Avoid drains, and stay close to radiators.
How often when you see the quote do you stop and reflect on which one you are?
How often do you stop and ask yourself whether you drain or radiate those around you?
Self-reflection is hard. It can be incredibly difficult to accept that we aren’t always what or who we would like to be, however, self-reflection is key to being the best that you can possibly be.
Yes, it is important to check who you surround yourself with, but it is also important to check how people around you are feeling in your company.
Are you radiating warmth and energy to those around you?
Are you sharing in the excitement of their achievements?
Are you providing them with that reassurance and support that helps them fulfil their dreams? Are you the person that people come to when they have good news to share?
I don’t believe that anyone sets out to be a drain. I don’t believe that people wake up in the morning determined to drain the positive energy from people. So how does this happen?
If we are honest with ourselves we can probably all admit that at some point we have been the drain. Our conversations and language are negative, the glass half empty, the huffing and puffing and sighing as we moan about how badly life is treating us.
Last week’s blog talked about the change curve and how it is important to not get stuck in the curve in particular, the left side of the curve or in the dip in the middle.
Becoming a drain is what happens when we get stuck. We get angry, and frustrated, and we may get feelings of stress or depression and whilst it affects us it also affects those around us.
This is why it is important not to get stuck in the curve.
This is why it is important to check where you are in the curve and check if your behaviour is draining others.
When people start to display drain-like behaviour this may be a sign that they are stuck in the change curve. It is part of the relationship for us to help them recognise their behaviour and support them to move on.
Whilst it is down to the individual to want to change, this does require self-reflection, which can often be difficult if we are in a negative mindset. That’s where friends and family can support us in seeing this.
Yes, we should surround ourselves with radiators, but we should also be radiators to the drains.