Updated: Mar 8, 2020
Mind your language; Don’t be a victim of your story telling
One of my top recommended books is S.U.M.O. by Paul McGhee. If you haven’t read it then I recommend you add it to your list. It is one of my top 5.
In this book, he talks about wearing the ‘victim t-shirt’. He isn’t talking about being a victim in the literal sense but how we can use ‘victim’ language which effects our mindset.
As with self-limiting beliefs we need to be conscious of the language we are using and replace it with positive, growth mindset language.
Extract from the book:
The last example leads me to the point of this blog.
Let’s say you are talking about something negative that happened to you. You are telling people what happened and the impact that it had.
Story telling can be healthy, it can be part of the process to deal with what happened, but it can also have a negative impact. This will often depend on how the story is told;
Are you focusing on the negative or drawing out any positives that have come from the experience?
Are you going into lots of detail and taking yourself back into the moment? Is this evoking emotional responses that you experienced at the time?
In the right time, and for the right reasons this can be part of the healing or recovery process but every time we tell stories we are at risk of reliving it over and over again, often without reason.
Whilst we may not want to change the memory we can tell the story in a more positive way just by changing the language that we use.
We can also ask the question whether we need to tell the story in the first place and how much detail we need to go into.
When I tell my story, I am cautious and conscious of the language that I use and the detail I go into for this very reason. I know others do the same!
So, my question to you this week is; are you a victim of your story telling?
If your answer is yes, then it’s time to mind your language